Saturday, 6 November 2010

20July1997

Sunday 20 July 1997
My dear folks,

This letter is about the nuptials of Penny Benson & Michael Nash, an event that has occupied our weekend here in Calgary. The marriage service was conducted at the local Roman Catholic Church by a priest who knew Penny well. The groom hails from a large family in all senses of the word. His dad & three brothers, like him, are handsome, towering giants, looking for all the world like a basketball team. He also has a sister. A fourth brother was killed in a motor accident.

Mike & Penny have been going steady for years since she became one of the house painters in a “company” he ran as a university student to support himself. They planned their wedding meticulously over a period of months. A good place to pick up the story might be Saturday a.m. when the three bride’s maids arrived at Kevin & Ann’s home to join Penny in the process of converting themselves into vestal virgins. There were joined by a young flower girl. Their cream blouses & long golden skirts were made partly by the groom’s mother. Penny’s dress, a flowing satin, swept out into a full skirt & mini train. I have no skill in describing these things but she looked stunning & her maids were a picture. She was thrilled on her wedding day to receive faxes of congratulation from family who were unable to be present.

After lunch, there was a great dispersal of forces to fetch extended family & friends from their places of residence & get them to the church for the service due to begin at 15.00. A hot sun shone in a blue sky as it has each day since our arrival. Benson vehicles had been burnished to within an inch of their lives for the occasion. The bride herself arrived at the church in her father’s car bedecked with bridal ribbons. At the appointed time, He led her down the aisle & hugged her fondly before handing her to the safekeeping of the groom & taking his place in the front pew.

As the groom’s family is not Catholic, the wedding service was not a mass. It was based around a number of readings & hymns chosen by the couple & a homily from the minister, a very good one too. He has a talent for simple, sincere speaking that was well received. Erica & Anita acted as altar servers while Penny & Mike were supported by their trios of bridesmaids & groom’s men. The music was supplied & the singing led by a couple on guitar & flute. It was a lovely service, easy & relaxed in a large church that was comfortably filled. When the couple came to take their vows, they spoke in low, clear voices & then placed wedding rings on each other’s fingers. After the signing ceremony, they made their way back up the aisle to the large foyer, Penny quite unable to restrain her smiles – Mike looking equally happy.

Outside the church, the couple were congratulated by the congregation. From there, the bridal party & immediate family went off to a park for the formal photos. The rest of us returned to the house for an hour before setting off again, this time for a hotel in central Calgary where the reception was to be held. Mike’s eldest brother was the master of ceremonies & did a good job in getting people settled around the tables, about 150 of us at a guess, & entertaining them. Places had been carefully thought out. Dinner was laid out on separate tables in the centre of the room where guests took it in turn to serve themselves. In the meanwhile, each table was required to respond to questions on Mike & Penny’s lives by selecting multiple-choice answers. Those who got it wrong had to sing a song or recite a limerick as a penalty. It helped to acquaint guests with the couple & to fill the time as people waited to dine.

After supper, Kevin delivered his speech by way of one of his customary doggerel poems, a saga that embraced the extended family & distant friends who’d travelled to Calgary for the wedding. Each person mentioned was asked to stand, generally to a brief round of applause. The poem was a good one in its deftness & sweep, although its metre was suspect. It was loudly applauded, as it deserved to be. Mike responded with a speech that did him credit, laced with understated humour. His mother also had a few words to say in tribute to their son, Andrew, who died in a motor accident & whose death has traumatised the family.

Then, the tables that had held the food were folded up & removed & Penny & Mike led guests to the dance floor. Music was supplied by a one-man travelling disco who managed the difficult job of finding tunes that appealed to three generations of people. Mum & Iris were among the older generation who found themselves back on a dance floor after a break of years. So was I for that matter. I can’t recall when last I stepped out. I’d delved into a cupboard in London for one of my long forgotten suits only to find that the moths had been at all three in spite of the plastic coverings protecting them. I brought the least holey of them with me but the consensus in Canada was that I should borrow one of Kevin’s, which I did unblushingly. I also borrowed a shirt of his as well as a tie & looked quite smart, if I say so myself.

Although this is not a letter about clothes, let me add that Mum had on a powder green suit that seemed to have been made with her in mind, while Ann wore a shimmering number in white – jacket & skirt. Cathy, Iris & Trish will forgive me if I leap over their outfits & mention the slinky blue dress that clung to curves I didn’t know Erica had. Her appearance fooled the waiter into serving her with champagne (which he was not offering to “children”), this to the irritation of her sister who promptly served herself. My two nieces, I should say, were seated beside me. Their mother spotted the champagne from across the room & acted to limit its consumption, with a stern word to me about an uncle’s responsibilities. Well, a family wedding is a special occasion & they were very grown up nieces that night. Indeed Erica danced far better than many of her elders.

The dancing was still going strong when we left some time before midnight, dropping Mum & Iris back at the Renoir & then continuing on in Cathy’s mini-bus to the B&B where the Gohdeses are staying in the little town of Okotoks, 15 minutes away. I am staying with Kevin & Ann. I went back to Okotoks on Sunday a.m. to find the family & to take delivery of a huge order of food from a local supermarket on Ann’s behalf. Wedding guests were invited back to the house for Sunday lunch & the opening of gifts – a Canadian custom. Lots of folk arrived & dispersed themselves through the house & out on to the deck & back lawn where Kevin had put up a large awning. It was another blue sky day.

After lunch, Penny & Mike seated themselves on a couch while assistants recorded the gifts – for later thank yous - & bundled the wrapping paper into garbage bags. There were lots of gifts & the newly weds carried off with aplomb the difficult task of opening these in front of many of the givers. They both have a light touch & kept their oohs to the minimum while showing their appreciation for the generosity & thoughtfulness of those concerned. The couple have since flown out for a honeymoon in the Caribbean. They return next week to resume their lives at their new home in Calgary. Thus was Penny Benson married to Mike Nash at one of the nicest weddings any of us can remember attending
XXXX
T

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